Letters, Personal

To the One I Could Never Leave Alone

My biggest problem was that I always thought you cared as much as I did. I always tried to do right by you and care for you in the best ways I knew how. I always asked you to let me know when you got home so I’d know you were safe. I always stopped whatever I was doing to answer phone calls and messages so that you never felt alone. I always left my phone on at night and turned the volume all the way up, just in case. I know 3 am haunts you and I know there are too many ghost in your house for you to feel at ease. I wanted you to know that you always had someone to talk to you when the voices in your head were screaming too loudly for you to get to sleep.
But now, it’s 9 in the morning and I can’t find the strength to get out of bed. The nightmares have come back and my demons are holding me down. And you won’t answer my call.

But now, it’s 1 in the afternoon and I’m feeling lonely. There is no serenity in being alone with a troubled mind. And you still aren’t replying to my messages.

But now, it’s 2 am and I have tears streaming down my face. The demons in my head are clawing at the walls of my mind, everything is spinning, and I have no idea who to turn to.

But now, it’s 3 am and my phone is ringing. The ghosts in your house have started screaming in your ear and you can’t face them on your own. 
So now, I’m wiping away the sadness from my eyes and choking back the sound of tears in my voice. Because I’d never want you to have to face your demons on your own.

Personal, vlog

Weekly Vlog || About Me

 

I thought it would be fun to try something different! I’m going to start posting videos every Friday and discuss my week in review. Just a vlog style video series every week to discuss what I’ve been working on in school, with my book, and other sorts of general things about me!

Like I mentioned, send emails to piles.paper@gmail.com and we can become best friends and I’ll questions here in these vlogs!

Products mentioned:
Stamp by kawaiigoodies on Etsy!
Beanie made by awildestflower on Etsy!
My Etsy shop – cosmicwitchery!
My editing services – pilesofpapers!

Letters, Personal

To the One Who Broke Down the Wall

I want to share sad stories with you. I want to feel your fingers interlaced with mine as we break down the walls surrounding our hearts. I want to pour my heart out and want you to accept everything I am, everything I was, and everything I will be. I want to lay on a blanket under the stars and talk about our pasts and our future. I want to count the stars and fill the air with smoke from our lungs. I want to fill the empty space around us with our laughter. I want to know about your passions, I want to listen to you try explain the inner workings of your world to me. I want to tell you about the the way ink spills out of my body everyday at 2 am. Show me your scars and let me tell you how strong you are. 

Personal, Studying

Essay Help – Proofreading and Editing

From now until the end of March, coupon code “BLOG25” will take 25% off of your editing needs at PilesofPapers.etsy.com

Have all of your essays and short stories proofread by a college level English major at a price built to fit a college student’s budget!

I can help correct run-on sentences and fix those tricky comma placements – or I can help look for any inconsistencies in your narratives!

Enjoy your writing process and let your thoughts flow freely, I’ll take care of the rest!

Personal, poetry

The Girl Who Loved The Stars 

There was a girl who loved the stars and the vastness of her world. This girl was young, and starry eyed, with a love for everything and everyone in her life. She had an insatiable curiosity and thirst for knowledge of forms. She loved art, music, novels, and the limitless world that surrounded her. This was a girl who loved the stars because they shone down every night with a brilliance that sparked her imagination and creativity.

There was a girl who loved the stars and the vastness of her world. This girl grew up well, surrounded by love and support, and she learned compassion at a young age. This was a girl who set high goals for herself and did her best at every turn. She did well on her schoolwork and devoured every book she could get her hands on. The stars, to her, were representations of the limitless possibilities her world held for her.
There was a girl who loved the stars and the vastness of her world. But as time went on, the stars held a different meaning for her. This was a girl who tried her hardest in each and every one of her endeavors. A girl who cared profusely and aimed to assist whomever she could. This was a girl, of only 15 years, whose natural empathy was twisted against her. With her trust misplaced, she was stripped of her childlike smile and heartfelt laughter. This was a girl, one much too young, who had her innocence ripped away. This was a girl who only looked at the stars as an escape from her day-to-day routine.
There was a girl who loved the stars and the vastness of her world. A girl who felt more at home looking up at the sky than she did sitting in her own bedroom. The night, once vibrant and so alive, now only sparked nightmares in this girl’s mind. Sleep seldom found her and she was left alone with her thoughts at night. This was a girl who only looked at the stars through teary eyes.
There was a girl who loved the stars and the vastness of her world. But the further she collapsed into herself, the scarier it all began to seem. Where she had once found solace in the limitless possibilities, she now found nothing but anxieties in the realm of the unknown. This girl kept her head down often and started counting the drags and self inflicted wounds instead of the stars.
There was a girl who loved the stars and the vastness of her world. This girl’s life, once beautiful and full of possibilities, had been twisted and mangled into something she no longer recognized. This was a girl who wanted out, who looked at the stars as a better home. She closed her eyes and counted the stars found behind her eyelids as they wheeled her away into the unknown.
There was a girl who loved the stars and the vastness of her world. Her days still blurred together in her mind, but she found new and better ways to cope. This was a girl who drowned herself in music that reminded her of better days. When the flashbacks started she wrote her way to sanity, this time on paper instead of on her arms. This was a girl who looked up at the cloudy night sky and found rays of hope in the stars.
There was girl who loved the stars and the vastness of the world. She had locked herself away from everything, but she had begun to heal from the inside out. This was a girl who was slowly starting to trust herself again. Her days were still rocky, but the good was starting to outweigh the bad. This was a girl who looked the stars as guides on her way back home.
There was a girl who loved the stars and the vastness of her world. 

poetry

A Sonnet for Sonnet Writers

A person who writes sonnets
Truly loves their muse
But someone who writes 100 sonnets
Just loves sonnets and their use

To put my emotions on to paper
Is not the easiest of feats
Except to state the obvious
And the already obsolete

I refuse to write another sonnet
Filled with metaphors about you
And spill words out on to paper
Abut how my feelings must be true

This is a sonnet meant for poets
Not a poem meant for you