Letters, Personal

To the One I Could Never Leave Alone

My biggest problem was that I always thought you cared as much as I did. I always tried to do right by you and care for you in the best ways I knew how. I always asked you to let me know when you got home so I’d know you were safe. I always stopped whatever I was doing to answer phone calls and messages so that you never felt alone. I always left my phone on at night and turned the volume all the way up, just in case. I know 3 am haunts you and I know there are too many ghost in your house for you to feel at ease. I wanted you to know that you always had someone to talk to you when the voices in your head were screaming too loudly for you to get to sleep.
But now, it’s 9 in the morning and I can’t find the strength to get out of bed. The nightmares have come back and my demons are holding me down. And you won’t answer my call.

But now, it’s 1 in the afternoon and I’m feeling lonely. There is no serenity in being alone with a troubled mind. And you still aren’t replying to my messages.

But now, it’s 2 am and I have tears streaming down my face. The demons in my head are clawing at the walls of my mind, everything is spinning, and I have no idea who to turn to.

But now, it’s 3 am and my phone is ringing. The ghosts in your house have started screaming in your ear and you can’t face them on your own. 
So now, I’m wiping away the sadness from my eyes and choking back the sound of tears in my voice. Because I’d never want you to have to face your demons on your own.

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